Hey! These weights are heavy!

After a 6 month tour in a YMCA I decided to step it up a bit and join a "real" gym. Whatever that means. Let me give you a little tour.

As we enter...
Brent: "Hi McManjammas"

That's Brent. He owns the gym and seems to be here all the time. What's that? He's overweight? I just said he was here, not that he actually worked out. Brent remembers everyone's name, everyone's.

Let's move over to the cardio section. This is the 4:30 crowd. The 4:30am crowd. We've all gotten into the habit of doing our cardio first thing. Nothing much to see here. Let's move over to the freeweights. See the guy in the Hawaiian shirt and the cabana boy look? He's the one on the decline bench press. That's all he does here. Well, that and the pec fly machine. I'm not sure what his physical goals are, but I'm pretty sure it involves his chest.

Now turn around and look over to the cable machine, see the 60-something guy doing his workouts in super-high-speed? I'm not sure who told him to do all of his excersizes with light weight and as fast as possible, but he sure took that advice. I call him hair flop. This is due to the way his back-to-front combover flops wildly about during superspeed hyperextensions.

Come on over this way--oh but watch out for grunty, I call him that bec--well, I'm sure you get it. Before we get to the squat rack let's turn and look back to the entrance. See the guy talking to Brent that looks pissed off? He always looks that way. Mr. AngryFace spends most of his gym time talking to Brent and looking angry. Don't let that fool you, he's actually pretty nice.

Look's like hair flop is over at the Smith Machine. I think he's doing squats, but I'm not sure. I've never seen them done quite like that. He loads the bar up, gets his shoulders under it, then moves his feet as far as possible away. Then proceeds to "squat". I call it the "Junkie Squat" Because I think this excersize is supposed to mangle your back so badly that you can get a prescription for heavy painkillers.



I know I'm not the only gym-goer with a blog that's written about gym stereotypes, but I'll bet I'm the only that's included himself:

Me? I'm the bashful peacock. I'm the guy that silently does all of his workouts, talking to other people as little as possible. Every chance I get I'll subtly sneak a quick peak at myself in the mirror and admire my "gains", hoping nobody notices.