The whole office is out to get me!

For months I've suspected there's something amiss in my office. Things on my desk wouldn't be where I left them, I'd hear strange noises eminating from my office before I'd walk in, crazy things. I didn't know what to do, until last night.

Last night I snuck into my office through the back door. I slowly creeped into my office, armed only with a boxcutter & a brand new sharpie.

What I found may horrify you.

I had been lucky enough to remember my camera, and this, ladies and gentlemen, is the first of what my camera captured last night:

(scroll down)

A mouse!
I couldn't believe it! Was this a single rodent, or was my office infested? I had to know! I continued on through my office and was nearly spotted by a fiersome creature!

The Staplerous Menaceous:

I quickly ducked out of the way! I tumbled and rolled, ended up near my filing cabinet and was nearly eaten by the creature hiding behind it,

a Paperworkous Lefttodous!
My office was truly infested! I was scared, I'll admit that. I was very, very afraid. I couldn't just leave though. It was up to me to save the office, if I didn't, no one would. My first course of action was to call for backup, I reached for the phone. I nearly lost my hand. The rarest of office creatures:

Tyelefones Rabidous! My God!

What was I to do?
I ran for the storage closet and cowered. I had to think of a plan! Finally, I decided I had to face each creature, one-on-one. I left the safety of the closet and headed for my desk. What I found is something no other employee has ever witnessed.
They were in...




A MEETING!

This I could no longer handle on my own! Things had escalated beyond my ability to control.
I ran.
I ran screaming like a little girl.
So I ask you, the reader:
Know of anyone hiring? I need a new job!



DISCLAIMER: No, I do not need a new job. I am well fed and taken care of at my current job. I have learned the habits and rituals of the office creatures and we now get along just fine. Even though the stapler still owes me $20.